This is a really easy one for me, although completely nonsensical. I have, as a matter of fact, actually screamed this out loud on more than one occasion ...
I WANT TO GO H-O-M-E
What on Earth does that mean? Why can't I go home?? You see, Home for me isn't where I live. It's not even where I grew up really. HOME for me is Cape Cod - always has been, always will be. There's just something about it.
I grew up living between the Cape and Boston, so I spent a fair amount of my time on the Cape. After graduating from college, I lived full-time on the Cape for a few years before moving to New Orleans, which wasn't something I had ever intended to do. It was to benefit someone else [vague, I know, and no, it wasn't some guy I was dating at the time]. I ended up with a great job I wasn't in a rush to leave, and I have a lot of family in New Orleans, although my heart was still on the Cape.
Then Hurricane Katrina struck, and I thought that was the kick in the a$$ I needed to get myself back where I belonged. That didn't turn out as planned! I did manage to acquire temporary housing via FEMA that was supposed to last six months, but of course that didn't happen. The bigger problem was that I bought a car on my first day back and started looking for a job and a place to live on my second day back, but the job market had significantly dwindled since I left, and I was told by literally every real estate office that no one would rent to me without a six-month job history.
Exqueeze me ... if you want a history, how about the fact that I had spent every summer on the Cape, had a family summer home there for several years, then lived and worked there for another five years. I actually offered to pay up front for a year, but they wouldn't even go for that. I still half wonder if it was all those horror stories of prisoners, gangs, etc. coming out of New Orleans at the time, not that I think I look all that intimidating. Even had I managed to score a job on that first day back, by the time FEMA pulled the rug out from under us, I still wouldn't have had a six-month job history to enable me to qualify for a rental??? I was told by several realtors that it was crazy to even consider a rental (most were crappy over-priced places a bunch of kids would band together to rent for the season) and that I should instead buy a house but that I couldn't get a mortgage either ... without a six-month job history!
Surely I'm not the first person who has ever moved to the Cape from elsewhere. Did they all live in tents for six months? Even if I could have afforded to live in a motel for six months, that's illegal. Sigh ...
I know in my head that even if I was to win the lottery tomorrow and buy a house right on my old beach, the Cape is just not what it was when I was there. Time has taken its toll, and most of my old stomping grounds are long since gone. When I was there post-Katrina, all I was reading in the papers was about schools being combined due to the dwindling younger population and the concern for the elder population in terms of services such as police and fire, given the rate of people leaving.
Still, the expression may not have had this in mind, but "the heart wants what the heart wants." When living in New Orleans, on days when I was feeling particularly nostalgic, I'd bring a book and head over to the pond in the park next to my apartment and try to pretend I was at the ocean. Didn't quite work without that salty sea spray, but it helped.
The other expression that applies is that HOME is where the heart is, and for whatever reason, mine will always beat on Cape Cod.
I've tried clicking my heels together three times, but that hasn't worked either. :(
What about you? What has you wanting to scream out loud?
* * * * * * * * * *
Feel free to share in the comments below, on Facebook or Twitter using hashtag #FTSF, or if you're a blogger, link up with one of the host blogs:
Janine ~ http://www.janinehuldie.com
Stephanie ~ http://www.stephaniesprenger.com
Kristi - http://www.findingninee.com/
This week's co-host:
Tarana - http://www.sandinmytoes.tk/
Kristi - http://www.findingninee.com/
This week's co-host:
Tarana - http://www.sandinmytoes.tk/
Next week's prompt will be: "My favorite decade was ..."
Comments
Post a Comment